Sunday, October 5, 2008

How to Break Up With Someone

We've all heard the term, "Breaking up is hard to do." The problem is that sometimes people make it harder than it has to be. Accept that conflict is apart of life. You can't get away from it, but you can make it easier to deal with by being direct and honest.

I've attached a video below that has great pointers on breakups. But, I'd like to include and elaborate on some things not mentioned in the video. Plan on breaking up face to face. Don't even think about text messaging. Remember how Carrie felt on Sex in the City when she was dumped with a post it note? That was just rude.

Be prepared to give a reason to why you want to break up. That doesn't mean list everything that you didn't like about them. But be honest, and keep it simple. And, be clear about the break up. Don't say that you need time off, if you want a permanent break up.

Consider how hurt the person may be and leave them alone once you've made the breakup. You lingering around will just make it tougher on them, and possibly lead to a fight. The last thing you want is to be attacked and have to call the cops. You don't want to go there, you just don't. Good luck!

I hope I've helped.


SavvyD said...

I wish people would follow that video it makes it sound so simple. The key is to be honest because by not communicating, you cause more pain. I'd take a phone call break up over silence, though and that's what most of us get or give when we don't know what to say.

Stella said...

I agree. A phone call breakup would be much better than silence. However, I think avoiding someone as a means to breaking off the relationship is just rude, unless they are psyco and would attack you. In which case, silence and a restraining order might be the best option.

Anonymous said...

I would be happy to at least get a text message......:

Why do Taiwanese men disappear when they want to end a relationship?
My ex and I dated for a while. We promised before to talk things out even though we decided to end the relationship...but after this argument, he just disappeared. We were having quite a few fights before, but we've always talked things out. We are adults (in our 30's). What gives the coward this immature approach of ending something?
Unless he's been cheating on me that I was not aware of.......or unless something happened to him? That is just plain rude. Very confused!

Stella said...

I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not a Taiwanese men "thing" to leave as a way of ending a relationship. Several men do it.

Men and women think very differently. When a woman initiates a breakup, she explains why she wants to break up, what went wrong, what he/she could have done, etc. The list could go on.

Men on the other hand, just nip it in the bud leaving us gals wanting to know why. They don't see the need in explaining everything. And in some cowardly cases, their nipping it in the bud is just disappearing without any reason whatsoever. They do this to "avoid hurting the other person," or so that they don't have to be around to see the other person's pain.

Focus on what you can do about the situation. You can deal with the pain and/or anger, and move on. Prepare yourself for a happier/healthier relationship.

I hope I've helped.

Patsy said...

Well said.