Monday, October 13, 2008

Very complicated relationship situation.

Very complicated relationship situation.

Ok, its a little embarrassing to be talking about this especially on the net , but I honestly am lost. Her name is Lola. We've been best friends for 5 years, one and a half of those years we dated. Lost our virginity to each other ... and so on. We broke up about 1 year ago. And we remain good friends. While we were broken up I tried the typical guy thing to do to try and get over her.. I slept around. Immature.. I know. I have been all over the world working, I've met alot of women, I find myself to be a pretty attractive guy. But none compares to the kind of intensity I've shared with this woman. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I've never been some comfortable with a woman in my life. I would give anything to get her back. But I don't want to ruin the friendship we have, I would rather her be in my life as a friend than not at all. She is dating some guy who's been lying to her all the time. At this point I just want her to be happy. I would love to not love her anymore, but I've tried.. and I cant. She is still the one I think about all the time. Any advice would be appreciated. Should i just not talk to her anymore , or tell her how I feel about her?

First of all, don't worry about expressing your feelings on the internet. With the modern era of online dating and internet based social groups, you're just keeping up with the times.

I don't think removing her from your life is an option for you. You love her and respect the friendship that you have with her, so I'm sure you would regret not having her in your life. However, I think telling her how you feel while she's seeing someone else might be a bad move. If her boyfriend is constantly lying to her, it won't last.

Continue being friends with her, and explain to her how you feel when she's out of her relationship. Chances are she might feel the same way. If not, at least you can live without the regret of never telling her, and will still have a solid friendship.

I hope I've helped.


SavvyD said...

Do you ever think that maybe people are just waiting for someone to say something? I mean, maybe if he said something, it would give her thr courage to leave a relationship that is bad for her. I find relationships generally confusing.

fallen_heartbreak_of_a_women said...

I can see what your saying savvyd however on the other hand i put myself out there once with a friend and got rejected but on the good side of it all we are still friends now and i have realized to let go but now i have stood back from it i can actually see they do feel something for me they are only just half way there to realising it, i guess what i am trying to say is that weather ur rejected or not at least you have said what you need to and if your good enough friends you will get past it.