Have I done the right thing?

Have I done the right thing?

I've been with my partner for two years, and have a one year old son. My partner is always telling me how stupid I am, or how lazy I am because I am just a mother. He drinks a lot, takes drugs a lot, and stays in bed all day, and works long hours. Sometimes he can be a caring man and nice, and a wonderful father. But, its destroying my confidence being with him. I told him I want to leave, and he said nobody would ever want to be with me. I hope I have done the right thing for me and my son, but I dont want to deprive my son. Please help.

You are in a emotionally abusive relationship. Abusive people will say horrible things (you're stupid, lazy, etc.) to keep your self esteem down so that they can easily control and manipulate you. If he drinks a lot, and does drugs, it's not healthy for you or your son to be around him. Get out of the relationship, at least until he can prove himself to be a positive, supportive, drug free partner and father.

As far as your son, it's better for your son to grow up in a healthy environment without his father, than in an unhealthy environment with him.

And, you must learn to love yourself so that you won't allow anyone to mistreat you. Don't be afraid to leave him. You and your son can have, and deserve a better life.

I hope I've helped.

How do I get a man to divorce his wife and be with me?

How do I get a man to divorce his wife and be with me?
He's only staying with her for the kids which doesn't make much sense to me.

Did it ever occur to you the pain you might cause the wife, or his kids? Or the fact that she'd now have to raise their kids alone? Did it ever occur to you that if you had this man to yourself, he might cheat on you too? Probably not.

These situations always end up the same. You can't make anyone do anything that they don't want to do. If he wanted to leave his wife, believe me, he would leave. He's using his kids as an excuse to you, while stringing you along. He's having his cake, and eating it, and you're feeding it to him darling. And, think about it, the last thing you would want is for him to leave his wife for you, then later find out that he's now cheating on you with someone else. Walk away.

I hope I've helped.

I would be happy to at least get a text message.

I found this question in the comment section and made it a post since I'm sure a lot of people might have the same question:

I would be happy to at least get a text message. Why do Taiwanese men disappear when they want to end a relationship?

My ex and I dated for a while. We promised before to talk things out even though we decided to end the relationship...but after this argument, he just disappeared. We were having quite a few fights before, but we've always talked things out. We are adults (in our 30's). What gives the coward this immature approach of ending something? Unless he's been cheating on me that I was not aware of.......or unless something happened to him? That is just plain rude. Very confused!

I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not a Taiwanese men "thing" to leave as a way of ending a relationship. Several men do it. Men and women think very differently. When a woman initiates a breakup, she explains why she wants to break up, what went wrong, what he/she could have done, etc. The list could go on.

Men on the other hand, just nip it in the bud leaving us gals wanting to know why. They don't see the need in explaining everything. And in some cowardly cases, their nipping it in the bud is just disappearing without any reason whatsoever. They do this to "avoid hurting the other person," or so that they don't have to be around to see the other person's pain. Focus on what you can do about the situation. You can deal with the pain and/or anger, and move on. Prepare yourself for a happier/healthier relationship.

I hope I've helped!

I don't know what to do about my boyfriend?

I don't know what to do about my boyfriend?

Okay, so he recently got arrested outside of my house, it had nothing to do with me, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was in jail for a day or two and now says he doesnt want to talk to me and he can't legally talk to me because he was arrested at my house. We have a dog together, and he came over today just to get the dog, I then asked him what was going on and he just said he didnt want to talk to me. My sister then talked to him and he said he just needed time to think and that it was hard for him to talk to me. there is this girl that has liked him for a long time now, and he told her he was going to her house to take pictures with her today. If things are so hard why is he talking to this girl and not me?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems that he doesn't want to be with you any more, and is using this to get out of the relationship. Let him go. If he really cares about you, he'll come around. If not, then at least you haven't wasted anymore time on him.

I hope I've helped.

How to Break Up With Someone

We've all heard the term, "Breaking up is hard to do." The problem is that sometimes people make it harder than it has to be. Accept that conflict is apart of life. You can't get away from it, but you can make it easier to deal with by being direct and honest.

I've attached a video below that has great pointers on breakups. But, I'd like to include and elaborate on some things not mentioned in the video. Plan on breaking up face to face. Don't even think about text messaging. Remember how Carrie felt on Sex in the City when she was dumped with a post it note? That was just rude.

Be prepared to give a reason to why you want to break up. That doesn't mean list everything that you didn't like about them. But be honest, and keep it simple. And, be clear about the break up. Don't say that you need time off, if you want a permanent break up.

Consider how hurt the person may be and leave them alone once you've made the breakup. You lingering around will just make it tougher on them, and possibly lead to a fight. The last thing you want is to be attacked and have to call the cops. You don't want to go there, you just don't. Good luck!

I hope I've helped.

What kind of problems can be involved in verbal and physical abuse?

I'm a little confused with this one. I'm not sure if you're wanting signs of an abusive relationship, or the possible outcomes. I'll go with the latter. There are numerous problems that can be involved in both verbal and phsyical relationships: stress, emotional, mental and physical damage. The list can go on. These type of relationships strain relationships with family and friends because they usually know, and suffer watching the victim deal with the abuse. And not to mention, the ultimate "problem" resulting in death of either the abused, or abuser. If you or anyone you know is dealing with abuse, please contact 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or visit http://www.ndvh.org/.

I hope I've helped.

Do I talk or complain to much to this guy ?

Do I talk or complain to much to this guy ?

I text him not everyday but maybe once a week. Few texts to babble or joke around. He told me to stop texting and that my problem is I talk too much. And I never really asked him for anything and one day that I do - he said 'I'm always complaining".If he finds me annoying does it mean he doesn't like me ?

Uh, yes.

Stop wasting your time with someone that is such a jerk to you. Don't even tell him that you're done. He'll just say you're talking and complaining too much. Just walk away, and no more text messages. Good luck!

I hope I've helped.

Should I help him out of jail and stay with him?

I went to court with my boyfriend today, and while he was checking in, he got arrested for not showing up to court the week before. I was such a mess! It was so hard to see him taken away in cuffs. Anyway, when I got back to my car, his phone was ringing. I looked at it and saw messages about him planning to break up with me, and him talking to a couple other girls. I was so angry. He has called me so much since he got booked. But the last time he called was to ask if I'm going to leave him. I told him that we need to talk and that he was going to leave me anyway. He said that he is never going to leave me. I dont know what to believe. He thinks that I am going to leave him now, and I want to. But I dont know if he is still lying to me or not. What should I do?

Let's be honest here. A lot of times, we see the signs and the know the answers, but it hurts too much to deal with it. Your boyfriend was planning on breaking up with you. But was arrested, and now says that he'll never leave you. What do you think? Tell the jailbird not to drop the soap and move on, or you'll find yourself pissed off when he gets out of jail and you find him with another woman.

Look at the bright side. Being caught up with a guy with this kind of drama in his personal life will only weigh you down. You don't need it. Good luck.

I hope I've helped.

Do you think he will still go out with me on a third date?

Do you think he will still go out with me on a third date?

I had a first date with a guy. On our first date, we ended up having a really good make out session. Kissing, cuddling and hugging. We had a second date and I started feeling a little awkward around him compared to our first date. I really like him. Really really do but why was I too shy to hug him or kiss him on our 2nd date? I felt like it went from a romantic first date to a friendly second date. I don't want to make him think that I am not interested in him or that I don't care. I just felt so awkward that I felt that I wasn't really in my right senses. Please help?I felt that when we parted ways on our 2nd date, I wasn't looking at him or I didn't even hug or kiss him at least on the cheek because I was so out of my mind. I can't even remember what exactly happen because I was so nervous.I feel so bad. I sent him a message thanking him for coming to see me and he replied no problem!

This is a tough one. I think it's too early to tell if he'll ask you out on a third date. Wait a couple of days to see what happens.
If you really like him, and don't hear from him in a couple of days, call him and talk to him. Tell him that you were so nervous on the second date, that you feel horrible about it. Then offer a "do-over" by taking him out. Most likely it'll give him an ego boost regarding your feelings for him and he'll think it's cute. Good luck!

I hope I've helped.

I want to do something naughty....?

I want to do something naughty....?
I want to do something naughty and I don't know what to do. I don't have a BF or anyone and plus I'm really really horny lol. I just can't shake it off...what should I do?

Buy a toy, or use your hand and be naughty with yourself. Sex stores are open 24 hours a day if you feel like getting out for a spell. If you're alone, with a toy (or hand) I'm sure you can figure it out. Good luck.

I hope I've helped.

Is HE USING ME?

Is HE USING ME?

I am 18, I am dating a 22 year old. We go on dates, I pay for myself, he offers, but accepts my money when I decline, without any hesitation.I found out that he is rich, he never told me this. But if he has this money, why doesn't he just pay for me?!!!

No, he isn't using you. He has his own money, remember. And, he can't pay for you because you always decline. Being passive/aggressive confuses people. Be clear. If you want him to pay, accept his offers.

I hope I've helped.

Should I stop talking to my ex?

Should I stop talking to my ex?

My boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago now....I was completely depressed and heartbroken, then I started to feel a little better and haven't broke off contact with him. We have been having casual "friend" conversations, but I don't know if its good for me. Im still ssssooo madly inlove with him and thnk that talking to him a few minutes a day is better than not talking to him at all. The highlight of my day is the fact that I might get to see him or talk to him. I have to force myself from texting him saying I miss him, almost every night. My question is, should I completely break off contact with him? I don't want to by any means, but even though I want to get back together with him like you wouldn't beleive, I think talking to him might be making thingsworse...what do you think? Im going out of my mind without him and it hurts :(

Yes, you should definitely stop talking to your ex. Since you still have strong feelings for him, there's no way you'll be able to be "just" friends. You'll constantly be thinking of your relationship. Cut it off completely. It'll be hard initially, but it'll be easier to get over him. Once you've successfully managed to move on, then you can consider establishing a friendship.

I hope I've helped.

How to keep a relationship from going stale?

How to keep a relationship from going stale? ?
I have been seeing someone - and it will be our 2 year anniversary in Dec. Things are going fine - but once in a while things feel mundane and the relationship can get bland.What do you do in your relationship to keep the chemistry and the spice in your life?

You both have to take the initiative to keep things spiced up. Plan a surprise date that that is either romantic, sexy or fun and adventurous. Whatever you do, make sure it's something that you haven't done before.

For example, for a fun date, you can go to a game center with video games, put/put golf and golf car racing. Or for a sexy date you can make dinner in your sexist lingerie followed by a little after dinner strip tease show. Do anything as long as its new.
I hope I've helped.

Why am I always jealous of my boyfriends' past?

Why am I always jealous of my boyfriends' past?
as in who they dated in the past...ive always been like this. i want to be the center of their world and i know i cant. what do i do

One simple word: Insecurity. Wanting to be the center of a person's world is not healthy. And it usually means that you need their attention to fill a void that you feel within yourself. Find a way to become happy with yourself on the inside and out. Take the time to explore your own personal interests. The key is to become so content with who you are as a person that you're no longer concerned about his ex-girlfriends. You know that they can't hold a candle to you, and he knows it as well. That's why he's with you instead of them.I hope I've helped.