Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Does he want to commit? Or is he just stalling?

Does he want to commit? Or is he just stalling?

My long term boyfriend and I were discussing the future the other night when I mentioned how I wanted to stay with him forever. His reply was "forever is a long time."I was a little concerned because this seems like it would lead into that he didn't want to commit to me so I pointed out that previously he said he wanted to become engaged soon and now this (and a few other statements) made it seems as though he now longer felt that way.After a few minutes discussion he tells me that it's not a matter of whether or not I am the woman he wants to marry, (Apparently I am despite him showing some doubt) it's the timing. Not the timing of the marriage, however, I'm perfectly fine with waiting a white to marry, but he seems to want to continue to wait to become engaged, even though we have already promised to stay with each other no matter what.So tell me if his theory holds water to you or not: Even if you are with the right person, if you become engaged at the wrong time it can ruin everything.Does this make sense to you?

If you don't mind waiting for marriage, why not wait for the engagement? The engagement period is to prepare for the wedding, in which he's made it clear that he's not ready. I'm sorry to say it, but it seems that you're rushing to get him tied down.

You haven't said anything to make me think he's stalling. Sometimes, a person just isn't ready, and it's not about not wanting to commit. It could be that he has goals that he wants to achieve before marriage. Or, that he wants to be able to provide his wife (in this case it would be you) with a certain type of lifestyle.

Relax, and enjoy the time you spend dating. Once you get married, it'll never be the same. And, give the man a little more time. Good luck!

I hope I've helped.


Anonymous said...

If he isn't "ready" and you are "ready", then it may be time to bakc off and part ways for a while.

ONly one man I dated, stalled. Eventually I found the reason for the "stall" and it wasn't pretty.

There is more than you know, something he isn't & won't tell you. Please don't stick around to "discover" it, it will only devastate you more later.

Part ways. If he truly loves you, he will be back. If not, you have stopped wasting your time.


Stella said...

Thanks for your feedback M!