What Do You Say To Get Out of Sex?

What excuses do you use? What is usually the real reason?
I know I am a girl, and I use the "I have to get up early" excuse. The real reason is that I usually am just not into him at that particular moment. But I think I may need some new excuses. LOL.

While I try don't engage in this, I do have a variety of excuses to use. A: If you've ended your cycle recently, tell him that you're still on. If he raises a brow, tell him that it's been really irregular this month and you don't know why. He should definitely hold his mule with that one. B: Fake a migraine or a headache. C: Tell him you're not feeling well and you feel nauseous. D: Pretend (If it's not natural) that you're really stressed over something at work and try to get him to comfort you instead.

Good luck. I hope I've helped!

How to Have Sex in the Office, and Not Get Caught?

I thought I'd post something fun to take us into the weekend. So, for all of you that consider office sex, here's a pretty funny video tutorial to guide you. Let me know what you think.



Good luck. I hope I've helped.

I need to spice up my sex life!

I need to spice up my sex life!

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 2 years and we have had some problems in the relationship with communication, and other things that couples usually go through from time to time. He says our sex life is boring. That our sex is OKAY, but getting boring, and that he wants me to try to be like a porn star (which personally offends me even though I know better.)

I've worn lingerie but he just takes it off and trys to have sex. I'm too shy to try stripping, but should I just do it anyway? We are sexual everyday. He likes me to go down on him everyday, or touch him and play with him everyday, which I dont mind. We also walk around naked all the time. Is this taking away from our sex life? We've used toys but he doesn't seem interested that much in them anymore. And porn used to be a regular thing, but now its on occasion. We've had a three some, but don't suggest that because I wont be allowing it again. It just didn't sit well with me emotionally.

He basically likes one position and always trys to end up in that one position, even though I tell him to switch it up He doesn't. And I tell him to try more areas. He sticks to the bed. What should I do? He says he knows this and will try but he never does. He says I don't seem like I'm having sex for love, but to just go through the motions. I feel the same, but of him. I try to kiss him, make noises and tell him how I feel. But, he makes me shush because everyone can hear everything in our apartment complex.

It doesn't seem like my efforts go anywhere. I know I must be boring in bed and I'm not all too experienced. Any suggestions? I've tried everything I can think of. We love each other very much and are faithful to one another. We have stresses, but we're trying to work them out and I really want to regain our sex life. Please help!

It sounds like you're putting in the effort to spice things up. You don't sound boring in bed in the least bit! You're a regular sex vixen (and I mean that as a complement.) He's the dud. First, if you're not comfortable stripping for him, then don't do it. Don't do anything you're not ready to do.

Second of all, you're doing enough to bring some life back into the sex. He now needs to make an effort, and telling you to be like a porn star doesn't count. Ask him what he would like, since your efforts aren't working for him. Complaining without offering any suggestions doesn't cut it. Then tell him you need him to take some initiative instead of having to do all of the work yourself. Relationships are give and take, even in (or if you're lucky, out of) the bed.

Your sex life is too thought out. It lacks spontaneity, and passion. But since you two are also having problems outside of sex, could it be that your stale sex life is a reflection of your other problems? Its possible that if you solve your other problems first, the sex may fall into place.

I hope I've helped.

Sex With My Brother In Law

Sex With My Brother in Law

This is really embarassing for me. Last week my wife and I were visiting her brother and his wife in California. Our wives went out to visit some old maid aunt and my brother-in-law ad I were watching a football game and dinking a few beers, just normal guy stuff. Our wives called to say they were gonna spend the night since the aunt was sick. When the game was over, we did a few tequila shots and then this movie came on with a sex scene. I don't know how it happened, but we got wasted. We started kissing and before we knew it, we were getting undressed.

To make a long story short, we wound up having gay (unprotected) sex. I woke up the next day in his bed naked with a major hangover. Luckily, we got everything cleaned up before the wives came back. I don't know how this happened or what to do. Believe me or not, I have NEVER had a homosexual desire in my life. If my wife finds out, she will leave me and I love her. I CANNOT tell her, she will never forgive me for having sex with her little brother. To make matters worse, my brother-in-law is threatening to tell her. What can I do? Telling my wife the truth is NOT an option, so please don't even say it.



Well, since you're set on not telling her, you need to talk with your brother in law and find out why he wants to tell her. Try to explain to him, that you made a big mistake, and you love your wife and want you don't want to loose her. Then ask him what he's hoping to achieve by telling her.

Either way, if she finds out, it's not just you she'll be through with. She'll be done with her brother as well. I think you should also be honest with yourself. No matter how wasted you get, you don't sleep with someone that you have absolutely no desire for. It may be hard to face, but you don't want to fool yourself. In the end, all secrets come to the surface. If she finds out now, she'll be upset, but with time she may come around. If she finds out from someone else after some time has passed, she won't be able to get over it. At that point, its beyond betrayal. Its also the fact that you hid it from her. I just think you should consider the outcome of all possible decisions. Good luck. And for future reference, stay away from the Tequila.

I hope I've helped!

Do I have some kind of freak on my hands or what?

Do I have some kind of freak on my hands or what?

So I talked my girlfriend out of the blumpkin (too weird for me). And now she wants to give me a Rusty Trombone. And then she said I could return the favor with a Cincinnati Bow Tie. Do girls really wanna do this kind of stuff or should I get rid of this freak show? P.S. First time we did it, I wasn't allowed to leave until I gave her a Golden Shower!

I didn't even know what any of this meant, but much to my unfortunate luck, I looked it up. I knew what a Golden Shower was before this post, and thought that was bad enough, but nothing could prepare me for these new discoveries.

Let me just say that one of the risks of the Rusty Trombone consists of a parasitic intestinal infection. Now with that in mind, I have to say yes, you definitely have a freak on your hands. This girl has an obsession with feces, and needs a therapist. This is not normal for the majority of women. Yuck!!! I have to go vomit now.

I hope I've helped.

Thanks to the Urban Dictionary for the definitions of the above freakish acts.

My husband and I have opposite work shifts because of our daughter. How do we keep the sex life going good?

My husband and I have opposite work shifts because of our daughter. How do we keep the sex life going good? By the time we see each other, its either too early or too late. We try to make time but by the time it comes down to it, one of us is just not in the mood. Please tell me good ways to keep things going good.

Oh dear. You two need to remember to date...each other. Just because you're married and have obligations doesn't mean you should stop dating each other. You both have to take the initiative. Call a babysitter and set an enticing scene at home. Role play, foreplay, use props, use food, use costumes, do anything...Be creative and keep the sex life ALIVE and well.

I hope I've helped.

How can he lie to me when it comes to using protection?

How can he lie to me when it comes to using protection?

I'm not on the pill and we haven't done any STD test yet, (although he told me he is 100% clean, we are exclusive for 2 months). So when we have sex, I always ask him to use condoms. He says he hates condoms. He assured me that he is very clean(tested after last partner) and would not *** inside me. I said thats not enough as I'm not going to take any risk on this. Once he got up and went to another room to get the condom. When he came back he said he had it on. It was dark and I couldn't see, but I knew he didn't have a condom on. I said no you don't and touched him, and there was nothing. He didn't say anything. Then he had to put the condom on and we continued. But I was thinking "How can he lie to me about that if he really cares about me." Now I even wonder if he is a decent guy. What do you think?

Do not walk away from this guy. RUN! First things first. Even if a guy doesn't c*m inside you, you can still get pregnant if you're not on birth control! Don't allow yourself to be in the position of getting pregnant, especially with a guy like this. It would be your problem, and he'd be no where around.

Now with that all settled, I can move into your specific situation. Good going by protecting yourself. This guy is a creep. The next time he says he hates condoms, ask him if he loves STD's, or HIV, or babies. The fact that he would stoop as low as to pretend to put on a condom is beyond belief. You have a right to protect yourself. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you. He is not a decent guy, and he doesn't care about you. Move on. You will find someone better. For future reference, always have your own condoms.

I hope I've helped.

What is a one night stand ?

What is a one night stand ?

What's a one night stand to you because I know some people say its one thing, and then other people say something different about it.

A one night stand is when you meet someone and hook up with them for casual sex. It's called a one night stand because you generally have sex with them the day you meet them, and you don't communicate or spend any time with them after that. If you're interested in a one night stand, be sure to wrap it up and be safe. You wouldn't want any itchy reminders of your one night affair the next day.

I hope I've helped.